Monday, March 27, 2006

Vegas!

It was most excellent! We spent a lot of time simply looking around. Grandma on the first evening tried to walk it - but she really just doesn't do long jaunts anymore.. so for Sunday we got her some wheels and put my uncle to work on pushing her around Las Vegas Blvd.

I arrived around 4ish to the Las Vegas airport, which was substantially larger than I would have thought. Although why I underestimated the size of the Sin City airport is beyond me... but anywhooo... I trekked through the airport where I then waited for my aunt and uncle to pick me up curb side. We headed back to the hotel where my mom and grandma were also awaiting my arrival. I hadn't seen any of them since my dad's funeral, so it was nice to see everyone on much happier terms.

Saturday evening we took the tram to Harrah's and then walked to The Venetian, which proved to be quite taxing for Grandma, since the hotel and casinos alone are roughly a mile long. She held up well enough and we enjoyed a very delicious dinner somewhere near the gauntlet inside. We then took a taxi (surprisingly enough, my first taxi ride EVER!) to the Bellagio, where quickly found out that due to "high winds" the show for the fountains had been canceled. Sad day.

Sunday, we got up and took a taxi to the Monte Carlo for a brunch that was absolutely delicious... of course it is - one of the few things Vegas does truly well! Buffets! hehe... so we gorged ourselves on food for a couple of hours and simply relaxed and then did massive wandering through the hotels down the strip. Side Note: My myspace background is featuring the blown glass from the Bellagio's Lobby... It's so intricate and well done. I love it. Eventually we mosisied on back to the Sahara, our home for the weekend and rested for about an hour.
We met up with family friends who live in Vegas, for dinner. We ate at a very nice steak restaurant and again gorged ourselves on food. The rest of the evening was low key, having walked all day and eaten enough food for three... we simply rested.

Today I flew back to town, had some lunch with Kell and headed out to El Cajon to teach... productive and fun all wrapped into one.

It was a great trip! Now I get to be home for a FULL week... and thus ends my travels for the month of March. I leave on the 4th for Boston for a week! I'm so excited!!!

Monday, March 13, 2006

Life...

It's really just not been a good year. Don't get me wrong there have been good things that have happened in this year. But in the grand scheme of things, it's not been a good year. From the time I turned 25 it's been one thing after another and I can't HELP but feel discouraged and beaten.

I try to stay positive, happy and move on from the tragedy that life has brought down on our family, but things just keep happening. My cousin Jonathan, not much older than me, died on February 26th. What makes this world so cruel? It makes me angry but mostly forlorn.

I find comfort in small things... but often times I really just feel like I am trying to hold it together. Is it possible get through the rest of the age of 25 unscathed? Death is natural, death is immanent... but damn it, does it have to be all at once?!

Ultimately, I am at peace with my grandfather's death. It's been a little over four months, since he went peacefully onto heaven. If one has to die, it should be the way that he did. Knowing, at peace with life's course, and able to say goodbye. I didn't get any of that with my father. He was unable to speak due to the tube down his throat, unconscious by the time that we took it out, not wanting to die, but to fight for life... and death winning out regardless of all his will power and our hope for a miracle. Damn it, it just doesn't seem fair.

I only have comfort in the abstract. I only find peace in things that I hope are signs that he's well off. The night of the funeral I heard a song on the radio, followed by a block of Shania Twain songs. Now I don't find much musical enjoyment in Shania Twain, but my dad loved her. And that night on the radio they played 5 songs in a row from her Come on Over cd, my dad's favorite. I took comfort in that... I had to... I was never able to hear from him, good bye.

When I get Where I'm Going
When I get where I'm goingOn the far side of the skyThe first thing that I'm gonna doIs spread my wings and flyI'm gonna land beside a lionAnd run my fingers through his maneOr I might find out what it's likeTo ride a drop of rain(Chorus:)Yeah when I get where I'm goingThere'll be only happy tearsI will shed the sins and strugglesI have carried all these yearsAnd I'll leave my heart wide openI will love and have no fearYeah when I get where I'm goingDon't cry for me down hereI'm gonna walk with my grand daddyAnd he'll match me step for stepAnd I'll tell him how I missed himEvery minute since he leftThen I'll hug his neck(Chorus)So much pain and so much darknessIn this world we stumble throughAll these questions I can't answerSo much work to doBut when I get where I'm goingAnd I see my maker's faceI'll stand forever in the lightOf his amazing graceYeah when I get where I'm goingThere'll be only happy tearsHallelujahI will love and have no fearWhen I get where I'm goingYeah when I get where I'm going