Monday, November 13, 2006

Wow a year... but yet only 10 months...

Has it really been now over a year since my grandfather died? It just seems like yesterday. Which I'm told is good that means that it hasn't been that hard... and I agree with that... but I also know that when I cry it isn't over the loss of my grandpa ever, but very much over the loss of my dad.

I just wonder now that it's been 10 months since my dad's death, if this really is what I'll feel for the rest of my life. I don't feel sad daily, I don't always feel down when I talk about it... but there are times that I do feel practically devastated, like it happened yesterday.

Both my dad and grandpa are in better places... I just wish my dad wasn't there YET. Christmas is coming.... the second now without my grandpa, but the first without my dad. We should be spending it together, watching Scrooged and other silly Christmas movies... but we won't, we can't. I will have a very happy Christmas, I will be surrounded by family... but it still can't replace who won't be here.

My grandpa had a wonderful and fulfilled life. It is sad he isn't around... but he's so much better now than he ever was here. Here's to a year of grandpa being well, happy, and better off than any of us here! Cheers Grandpa, Love, Mouse Mouse.