Amateur Fireworks

I hate them. All of them. Every since I can remember I've hated fireworks set off by people other than professionals. I love the professional shows and the pyrotechnic displays and creativity that is put into them because for the most part they are safe – or at least precautions are taken to ensure MY safety. However, amateur fireworks have no safety, there is no assurance of my safety, my roof's safety, etc.. And to answer your question, no I don't even like sparklers. I don't wish to hold fire in my hands. I use matches and that's the extent of my pyrotechnic excitement.

To my husband's chagrin I won't be anywhere NEAR where amateur fireworks are being used. This limits his options for 4th of July festivities. He thinks I have an overreaching and somewhat irrational fear. However, after explaining all my experiences with fire and fireworks in particular – he seems to have a better understanding. I don't recall all the ages I was with these experiences but most of them all occurred before I reached the age of 12.

I vividly recall being in the Target parking lot near the Orange Show watching a show (this one might have even been a professional one) when I rouge ember landed on the top of the car and it burned a dent into the top of the car. I remember being terrified because my doll was inside. More importantly the car was supposed to be my safe-haven to run to, now fire from the sky was burning through it (or so I thought) where was I to go to be safe?! Another fun firework memory involves a summer trip to Missouri.... and a trip down by the lake – it was like a war zone and things were shooting under our car, I was convinced it was going to blow up. I was terrified. Finally, my last horrid experience that rests latched to my memory is sitting on the beach watching fireworks with my family, when someone came and threw some popping type firework into the crowd almost causing my mom to lose her hearing entirely. I. HATE. AMATEUR. FIREWORKS.

I believe that three bad experiences as a child might not render all souls lost to the festive firework excitement, but for me – not only did I have those bad experiences with fireworks specifically – I had other "issues" growing up the ONLY reoccurring nightmare I had was of an ice cream shop burning, while we sat a "safe" distance at a picnic table. The others at the table were usually my family, but occasionally that changed to friends, etc.. The scenario was always the same though, I was the only one that cared the shop was engulfed in flames and I was the only one that seemed to notice, everyone else happily continued to eat their ice cream while the store was burning very hot and VERY close. I don't now know how often I had this dream. I wouldn't say it was every week – but whenever I would have it, I would sleep in my doorway, the quickest exit out of my room.


And it didn't help any when in the 6th grade my bed caught on fire. Granted it was smoldering, but it was a 4 inch deep hole in my mattress by the time I awoke to a room filled with smoke (the fire alarm IN MY ROOM hadn't gone off) and thinking back now – I don't think it took long for the 4 inch hole to appear, my dad had already left for work, and I think he would have noticed smoke had it been smoldering when he had been getting ready. The room was filled with smoke when I awoke – of course somewhat of sheer panic took over me, but I managed to establish that it was in fact my bed… my electric blanket… that was on fire.


Now it has taken me MANY years of progressive easing back into fire, electric blankets etc.. Immediately after the fire I wouldn't touch a match, get near a fire pit (hard to avoid when you're camping with Girl Scouts regularly), and I most certainly would not get ANYWHERE near an electric blanket. I would check a bed if I was visiting somewhere to make sure there wasn't one on the bed. At first if there was one, I would take it off entirely… even remove it from the room (regardless of the fact that it wouldn't be plugged in) I slowly became more rational, and would simply unplug one if it was on the bed. And finally in 2006, 14 years after the fire – I purchased an electric lap blanket. I use it when I was awake and sitting on the bed or on the couch – because it's colder up here in the northwest. This last winter I even slept with it on top of our other blankets a time or two. However, I never again will own one that covers and resides on our bed. Some things irrational or rational are just going to be the way they have to be.


So all in all, the fact I don't like amateur fireworks – I would say is a completely ok thing to dislike and avoid. There is no controlling what idiot (drunk or otherwise) does with them. Those all-knowing armatures that believe building a bigger boom past what they purchase them as only fuel my fear when I hear the pop, boom, sizzle from outside my bedroom window, when it is sounding like a war zone in my neighborhood. So while I love the 4th of July and the celebration of our country's independence, I prefer to leave the pyrotechnic displays to the professionals, usually surrounded by large bodies of water and the local fire department near by!


Happy Fourth of July everyone! If you choose to indulge in amateur fireworks, by all means enjoy – just don't expect me to get giddy about it or to be anywhere near where you are. :)