It's been one year.
Does this mean I should feel better or be at a different place than I was one year ago?
I just feel numb… I'm not sure how I should feel or if I should be resolved that this is how life is now and will forever be… but I'm not there regardless. The pain has gotten better over the year, it's true… but today I could tell you were I was during every minute of the day last year. I can tell you that around 1pm The Net was on and that we were telling my dad that Sandra Bullock was on tv.. and it was only a few minutes ago that my dad's heart rate and blood pressure were slowing… and by 7pm I was crying on Becky's shoulder because my dad was gone from this world. I still remember hugging him and telling him I loved him and thanking the nurses for being so kind and understanding. It was by far the hardest day of my life.
And today… it's like I'm reliving it all over again.
The song that is stuck in my mind is written below, 2006 was one of the most emotionally devastating years I've ever experienced and today I feel like that raw emotion is very present, but overall life is still very positive. So, I'm going to go relax and be quiet and be thankful for the time that I did have with my daddy.
Does this mean I should feel better or be at a different place than I was one year ago?
I just feel numb… I'm not sure how I should feel or if I should be resolved that this is how life is now and will forever be… but I'm not there regardless. The pain has gotten better over the year, it's true… but today I could tell you were I was during every minute of the day last year. I can tell you that around 1pm The Net was on and that we were telling my dad that Sandra Bullock was on tv.. and it was only a few minutes ago that my dad's heart rate and blood pressure were slowing… and by 7pm I was crying on Becky's shoulder because my dad was gone from this world. I still remember hugging him and telling him I loved him and thanking the nurses for being so kind and understanding. It was by far the hardest day of my life.
And today… it's like I'm reliving it all over again.
The song that is stuck in my mind is written below, 2006 was one of the most emotionally devastating years I've ever experienced and today I feel like that raw emotion is very present, but overall life is still very positive. So, I'm going to go relax and be quiet and be thankful for the time that I did have with my daddy.
Life Ain't Always Beautiful
By: Gary Allan
Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggle makes you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin' it sweet time
[chorus]
No,life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles
And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life dont work that way
But the struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin' its sweet time
No, life aint always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But its a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride
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