Monday, August 14, 2006

Lost...

I just feel lost. Mostly because I am lonely but really what is my life? Where am I supposed to fit in here? Sure I have friends here, but they are far from close friends. I watch shows like Sex and the City and wonder how they found each other at that age, that's never really explained. How do adults come together as good friends? My closest friends I met in school. I'm not in school anymore. The commonalities of needing support in a new environment do not exist anymore. I'm the only one. I'm the only new one here. I just feel lost.

I feel like any support of friends comes from the internet. Any sharing of my life (besides my husband) must travel through the internet and that I don't have someone here to talk to. I have surface friends and people that I hang out with and yah I know that I guess close kind of friends will come with time.. but it's just so lonely in the interim. Carrie and Becky were both out of the country doing things exciting and although I was uber happy for them I was desperately wanting them back in the states so I'd have someone to call, chat with. Shelley and I talk daily during the week and I love that but it's not the same, as getting coffee with someone, going to a stupid movie, or shopping.

Saturday, for the first time I felt like I had someone to hang out with - Dana and I got together and went to the mall and then met up with Breanne (her soon to be maid-of-honor on Sunday) We made dinner and watched movies - it was great, and I loved it -and maybe that will be my social network soon enough.

But then there are days like today... where I just feel lost. Maybe I'm simply impatient.

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