Christmas & Changes

It's amazing to me what can take place over the course of a year. Think about where you were back in early January. For me, I was sitting up in Bottineau, North Dakota with my sister in law and their 5 dogs freezing my butt off. Now, I am back at home wrapping presents under my tree - and my "sister-in-law" is doing the same here in California, while my brother is still in North Dakota, in a state of mind that has me in constant worry mode. In February, I was interviewing for a job to be the director of forensics at a small college I had never heard of. Today, I am headed out to that same college to my office - to finalize grades and turn off the light on my first semester of teaching college. In March, it was pouring rain which it had been relentlessly doing all winter season. The month of December has seen maybe an inch of rain in this winter season? In April, I was finalizing my last scholastically graded papers of my law school career. This month I just finished grading several papers and essays. In May, I graduated law school and I headed out with Carrie on a road trip towards hell. The road trip was excellent, but the end result was studying... June & July resulted in much of the same: studying and taking the most grueling test of my life. Now? I don't have anything to do but lesson planning and quilting. August was spent reconnecting with my husband who I hadn't seen in three months, this month is spent gathering his belongings so he can move to the NW for the next six months without me. September was the introduction of my debate team to the circuit. December, That College took 5th place sweepstakes at Fall Champs. October, I find out I did not pass the test I spent weeks studying for. October I submit my appeal for those very results. Even still I am awaiting the results of that appeal. November, marked a large family change. My grandfather passed away. A void in the family - certainly, but more importantly faith in God and hope for a better future for us all in Heaven. December? December has brought many things - Job offers for Loving Husband he certainly could not turn down. Christmas parties, shopping, quilting, present wrapping & packing. 2006 is certainly going to be a year of some of the biggest changes in my life. Stay tuned

Family Time, Turkey, & Tournaments

It has been a busy few weeks - since Disneyland life has been a whirlwind of ups and downs. My grandfather died on the 10th of November, leaving me in my hometown for two weeks unexpectedly. Derek was able to come home to be with the family, and was able to see Grandpa before he passed. It is sad, but it was quite a blessing for my grandfather. He had a very happy and fulfilling 83 years. Thanksgiving came and went with little event. I avoided Black Friday, but truly made up for that today... more of that to come.

This weekend was PSCFA Fall Champs - before the weekend began, I had little desire to really go. I was glad that I did. Not only did my students do great, but it was simply a lot of fun!!!! I can't believe that the students managed to get 5th PLace sweepstakes. That's crazy! That makes me feel like I've done something this semester. :)

He Won!

Grandpa used to play the lottery every Wednesday and Saturday. It was a part of his weekly routine for the latter years of his life to go down to the local store and get a $5 quick-pick twice a week. Thus, in his honor and tradition we decided to get a ticket, so we went and bought Grandpa's final $10 quick-pick ticket shortly after his death... and tonight when I went to cash it in, we determined that he went out on top with a $12 win. We decided to just keep playing until we could play no more. Wish us luck!

All my love...

83 years of life.
56 years of marriage to his lovely wife.
25 years of my memories.
8 weeks spent on summer trips to the beach at Camp Pendleton.
5 weekends spent at cabins in Big Bear.
13 days at home with my family.
3 days sitting by my grandfather's side talking to him in his final hours about my amazing husband and how proud he is of me and when I find out about the bar exam.
1 day solely for an amazing man spent celebrating, crying and rejoicing over his, my grandfather's, life.
An eternity of happiness, sight, warmth and love.

I will miss you, Grandpa - but I know you are in the best place you could ever be. I will see you soon! Until then, whenever I see my humming bird, washing machine, and wishing well, I will think of you and all the memories we shared. I love you.

DISNEYLAND! I love it!

Yesterday, Carrie and I went to the Happiest Place on Earth ... the LONGEST line we waited for was 25 minutes and that was including when the ride broke down. We went on Space Mountain twice and every other significant ride, except Indiana Jones because it was broken (sad day!) We were there from 1pm-6:30pm in the park... and most of the rides we could walk right on! It was EMAZING.

The Bar

So, most of you know my fate (currently) as to the results of the bar exam. I have technically failed the exam. By 1.5 points. A passer needs an average of 7 (out of 10) for all 18 essay. My average? Yah 6.91! So what does that mean? I am appealing. Yes, appeal appeal appeal. Talk about exhausting, emotional, and down right nerve racking. All I do for the appeal is fax one piece of paper back that simply says REGRADE ESSAYS 7, 10, 14, 15, & 18 (Up to six) and a review committee will take another look at my essay and see if it was improperly scored (hopefully) by 1.5 points SOMEWHERE!!! So, today has been sent selecting those essays... Loving Husband will look at them tonight. Wish me luck.

My Week... AND Results

Saturday, October 8th 5:41pm: I am sitting in the final debate round at PLNU, with all of my students watching the round intently, my husband by my side and a computer with internet access in front of me... So I start to surf the web. I receive an email from my friend and fellow test taker which goes as follows.
"Erp. I don't even know how you're feeling right now, but I didn't see your name and I hope that means they just forgot. I heard they miss a few names each time. Etiquette as I have heard it is that I shouldn't contact you until the news has settled a bit. :( but you're one of the most positive people I know and I just wanted to write you a note to say how STINKIN LAME that Bar is!!!! I think the results are pretty arbitrary, since a lot of my (smart, A student) friends aren't on that list today. Want you to know I'm thinking of you. When you come to visit or move, I am taking you for a few big fat peachy Bellinis! All you can drink! Feel free to call or whatever if you want. I didn't see Kara's name either, sigh. You know what though, you two have jobs!! ;) I'm still a temping wage slave. Ok, chin up, and go appeal the heck out of that exam! Hugs, Ali"
This is the first inkling that I have that a) the test results are posted and b) that I didn't pass. Fishsticks! (Thank you, Mark) So, paniced I race from my inbox to http://www.wsba.org/ and see that yes, in fact, the results have been posted... and yes, my nightmare had come true. My name is NOT THERE! ANYWHERE. But, I am stuck... sitting in this room, with my students for another 20 minutes because I can't get to an exit without drawing massive attention to myself. I then make the statement to Loving Husband, I didn't pass and point to the screen.
Saturday, October 8th - 6:02pm: I race home to check the mail, the letters were mailed out Friday, there is a slim chance it would have gotten there by then... and then I will know what portion I didn't pass! Nothing... I drag the useless and meaningless mail into the house and cry for a good solid 20 minutes... Then I redo my makeup and go meet my team, PLNU team and the APU team for dinner. Mentioning nothing to anyone.
Saturday, October 8th - 8:30pm: Loving Husband and I make the decision that it is best to go distract me from reality and we head over to Kelley's for a previously arranged game night. We played Cranium and Hoopla until almost 1am. It was a great distraction and I thank them all for helping take my mind off of the horrible way I was feeling.
Sunday, October 9th - 2:00am: I cried for an hour and then I finally got to sleep. I just had this horrid recurring feeling that I spent three months away from my husband for NOTHING.
Sunday, October 9th - All Day: I slept until I couldn't sleep anymore... woke up at 12:30pm. I moped around the house. I watched Cinderella, Toy Story, general cartoons - you name it, I just wanted to do nothing. I wallowed.
Monday, October 10th: I had prearranged for my morning class to be canceled. Check mail! No mail. Check mail again! No mail. Check mail again! No Mail - DAMN IT COLUMBUS! Go shopping with Nikki and Jackie... very therapeutic and fun regardless of my mood. I was starting to feel better.
Tuesday, October 11th: Check mail... NO LETTER. Start voicing my disdain for the USPS. Go off to work and tell my students my results... they are sympathetic and are truly positive that no one passes on their first time. It was refreshing..
Wednesday, October 12th: I was at work from 7am-6pm all the time KNOWING that the letter was sitting in my mail box at home - waiting to tell me finally: a) What I had passed/failed b) If I had failed within a range of appealability c) Where I really stood with it all. I made the decision while I was at work that I would take the exam again - in Winter 2007. The exam is only offered twice a year... Winter and Summer. Well, this winter I am teaching, I refused to waste another summer and thus left me with Winter 2007. So, I drive home... straight to the mailbox. NOTHING FROM WSBA!
Thursday, October 13th: I don't work on Thursdays so I slept in a bit, got up did some stuff online and around 11am went to mail some invites for the party... mail had already come, but again NOTHING! The rest of my day was disgruntled, but productive.
Friday, October 14th: TODAY! I wake up, also after sleeping in a bit. Take care of some stuff for work and more party stuff and take more invites to the mailbox. NOTHING! That's it. I came straight back in the house and called the WSBA. Left a voicemail. Within the next hour the woman called back with the following news:
Ethics Portion - PASSED Substantive Portion - IN THE APPEALABLE RANGE** I was 1.5 points away from passing the exam entirely.
** Appealable range means that IF I am missing up to 3 points from a passing grade I can resubmit up to 6 of the 18 essays for entire regrading. The gamble with that is that the grade can go up or DOWN, since it's an entire REGRADING. You will receive copies of all your answers again and you will choose based on the information you have from the original grader which essays you would like regrarded and HOW MANY you would like regraded.
SO WHERE ARE WE NOW?I will get in the next couple of days the procedures for the appeal process and copies of all 18 of my graded essays. I then will have to sit down and see where it is likely that I can pull another 1.5 points from certain essays. I will have to decide how many essays to submit and the gamble that I would be taking if I submit too many. The appeal is due by Monday,October 24th. I do not yet know when the secondary results would be put forth. So, we're back on the prayer track... Guidance for which essays and how many to submit and for leniency on those ReGraders. Beyond all that I am exhausted from the whirlwind of emotions that this week has put me through. Thank you all for your support thus far. It really has helped and means a lot to me.