Mae's First Birthday

Hooray Saturday was the day!  The day that this mommy plots from early on in her children's existence.  Yes, the famous 'First Birthday' party.    Since our little girl from day one has been referred to as Owlie due to her head that turns extremely far and her big eyes that she can make - it only seemed appropriate that that be the theme.   As it turns out - there is a HUGE market for a certain owl-themed 1st birthday set - so my inspiration began there.  

Decorations and such were all obtained or made this past week or so and the execution took place on Friday.    I made the cakes on Saturday morning - above you are looking at 3 tubs of frosting there.  The little owls were made out of crafting foam that I traced and put together with hot glue.    They made for excellent decor for the cakes.  

Across the mantle I strung her month photos - along with a photos on top of it of Mae when she was 10 days old and one that I took on her birthday in a similar pose.  The circle garland are just a lot of felt circles cut out and just sewn together.   The strands of lights have little cupcake wrappers on them as little lamp shades.    The wreath I made using a foam circle that I wrapped with yarn and then hot glued another foam owl I made along with some of the circles.    I ordered the balloon, plates, and pinata in the official line of 'Whoo's Turning 1' themed stuff.      The pull string pinata is stuffed with toys (all of non-choking hazard size)  for the 3 and under crowd to enjoy!   With everything in order the party was set - food was set out (forgot to snap that picture) and let the merriment begin with snow falling in the background!

The birthday girl was ready to party in her special outfit.   I got her shirt from BowDaciousBaby and it's darling!   Although I won't lie - I do have a complaint, they didn't preshrink the shirt before doing the applique/embroidery and so it's not totally flat now.   Hmmph.    Still darling and she looked too cute for words in it!   She had a great nap before the party and was ready to enjoy the festivities!

People began to arrive as the snow continued to fall.   Grammie had thankfully avoided any issues arriving from  her flight here that morning, so she was busy helping me get everything ready.     Ace was so excited for the snow and was itching to go outside.    He had fun throwing snowballs at the window for the party guests to watch.   

With snow hampering some guests' arrivals and the urgency for our current guests to get home - we began opening presents.  Mae got a lot of cute things.  She loved the stroller, but really thought it should be for her to sit in and not for the doll.   

A family picture was obtained (see the snow falling in the background?) before the cake festivities began -  Mae was distracted by something to her left, that was far more interesting than the camera. 

With Mae in place the cake was set in front of her to grab a picture before we lit the candle and sang happy birthday.    Well she wasn't interested in any lit candle, in fact it was the first thing she grabbed - so with the formality of it over and this picture snapped we let her have at it - while we sang Happy Birthday.   

I'm done with this.

After she had sufficiently and timidly smashed the cake to her liking we grabbed a few pictures with friends, so they could get on the road... as we had a few other guests arrive during cake festivities to say the roads were getting pretty precarious out there.   Pop Pop arrived to say he'd be sticking around a while because of it - and another friend of ours arrived having had a small fender bender and left after consuming a slice of cake and dropping off a present (he had driven close to an hour to attend too!)   Dern that snowy weather!   We also decided to skip the pinata and decided to save it for a play date when all the little ones could attend and participate.

Next up was bath time, followed by a few more presents, and little bit of time with the grandparents that were around for the festivities and then the party was over!  What fun she had!  Cake was consumed, presents were opened and she spent the remainder of the evening playing with all her new loot (along with Ace who very much enjoyed playing with all the new toys!)   Thanks to all her fans who ventured out in the snowy NW weather to attend her special day!!

Books of 2011

This post is to document as I have for many years now what I read this past year.   There was a LOT that went on this past year and as a result of that - I really didn't read much AT ALL.  In fact the first book I read wasn't until July.   A new baby, illness, a move across the country all contributed.    I still love to read, but it doesn't always get to be a priority.    Here is my extremely meager 2011 list:

Silver Sparrow
The Hunger Games
Shepherding a Child's Heart
Catching Fire

Falling Together

One Year

Happy First Birthday, Mae!

It seems impossible that one year has passed since my little girl was placed in my arms.  She's still pretty tiny, but she's far more mobile, expressive, and if possible more adorable as when she entered this world. 

Mae's 12th month brought more firsts:   first time sleeping in her own room,  first Christmas, first allergic reaction, first 911 call, first bout of bronciolitis, first New Year's Eve.

Let's start with Mae's chomper count:  3 total for her first year.  Her second top tooth has broken through the gums, but since it isn't truly visible we will leave the total count at 3.   She's doing well to use them on appropriate things.  Although she does bite when she gets really mad.  Doesn't bode well for preschool, so hopefully she out grows that tantrum.

Mae is putting those teeth to good use in the food department and has started to eat things like sliced turkey, cheese, and even her first McDonald's nugget! She does drink a little goat's milk daily, but nothing terribly measurable and she does so in a sippy cup.  We've skipped bottles entirely - in spite of the $ that I dropped on several fancy ones. Ah well.   She still eats like a baby bird and relies mostly on mama milk.  I think she's going to trend like her brother on the very little food consumption for a bit, making her mama count calories and be nervous.    She is growing though.  She weighs 16.14lbs (2.02%) and is 26.52" (1.70%)  so while she's nearly off the charts she is gaining weight, in spite of illness.

Yes, this last month has been quite the challenge for Mae Mae.   She had a cold when she cut her tooth that seems to be pretty normal for her teething routine it seems, but after the cold (or during?)  we discovered she had an allergy and had to go through the process of handling that, allergist appointments, and carrying around epi pens.  After the immediate reaction we followed up with her doctor who diagnosed our little girl with bronciolitis because she just sounded so junky in her lungs.  By New Years she was feeling much better and when the allergist listened to her lungs, she was totally clear and over it (a week later.)  

I mentioned earlier that Mae slept in her room for the first time, and to date, the only time.  She developed  her cold right after that and this mama bear likes her baby close when she's got a cold. After that it was the allergy, then the bronciolitis, and well now to be honest, her room needs to be cleaned and reorganized again before we can place her in there again.   :)    In general Mae's sleep is not ideal.   She's doing decent napping - sometimes we'll get 90+ minutes out of her - that seems to be once every 5 days.   She is pretty much down to one nap sometime in the afternoon.   She does car nap pretty consistently though.   Her nighttime sleep though is quite dramatic.  As in it takes forever to get her to sleep.  No routine, lighting, or mood can get her to become unconscious unless she a) wants to or b) screams until she's unconscious in our arms.   The doctor yesterday said that is most likely a separation anxiety issue and should pass with time.   Here's hoping sooner than later!

Vocabulary wise we don't have much more official words.   She really doesn't say 'mama' much anymore unless she's upset and reaching for me (and even then it often is only one 'ma' and that is milk)   Although her 'ma' for milk is morphing into 'meee' so she's getting closer to actually getting the real word out.    Same with 'brother' - it often still is 'ba'  but she is on occasion says 'bru da'  - she still utters 'up' but mostly she just reaches her arms up and fusses.   We try really hard to not automatically give her what she wants so that she does need to exercise the language skills.    I have been working with her to say 'please' in sign language and what's really cute is that she signs 'please' on me when she wants it - which for her is just waving on my chest back and forth.    It's sweet.      She is very good at waving hi and bye and on occasion she will say both of those words.   

Development wise, she sort of knows the color red.  I'd say 70% of the time she can show me something red if there are three choices to choose from.   She does really well at eye contact and seeking my approval or disapproval on her actions (or the actions of others.)    She can also put things in and out of a container.     She loves to follow her brother and play with him.   They are starting to get into a bit of a tussle every now and then over a toy, as Mae seems to find it her right to simply take anything and everything her brother has.   He does ok with the process most of the time.     Mae also has started to shake her head 'no' some times when we ask her to do something.   It's cute (currently.)  Mae most of the time is adorably happy,  big smiles and giggling.  However, she does have quite an explosive 0-100% mad gauge. She has easily moved into tantrums without much issue. Whole body going stiff, beet red, and mad mad mad. She recovers quickly, but my goodness she can express her displeasure like no other.

Mae is fully walking now and has some decent speed with it too.   She climbs everywhere she can get to and even tries to climb some places she can't.  While cute- she certainly is going to make me go gray.    She is now quite proficient at climbing up and down the stairs - which makes me much happier that she's mastered these skills.  She still on occasion likes to stand right at the top of the stairs and dance - which is cause for a mild-heart attack by this mama, but overall she has avoided tumbles and mishaps.  But this little girl's guardian angel does certainly work overtime! 

Toys and play:  Mae still loves her little baby doll, and her Sophie giraffe (which lives in the car), and she loves baby dolls and soft stuffed animals.  She likes to carry them around and play peek a boo with them.   She also really loves to put blankets, pants... anything on her head and walk around that way.   Also LOVES to put anything around her neck that she can fashion into a scarf...  she really is my danger child.   Trust me, she's never out of my sight in light of these 'hobbies' of hers.   She's adorable though when she's behaving safely.     Mae really hasn't taken an interest in any particular show or movie.  She for the most part couldn't care less when the tv is on, other than her interest in climbing up onto the table the tv is on.    She still loves to chew on things, but has moved past putting EVERYTHING into her mouth... but she still puts plenty in.      She loves to play the 'upside down' game with her dad,  playing he her room with her brother, and poking noses with her mama.    She's just so happy.  Mae also likes to sing along when we sing songs with "ahhhhhs" in various notes. Pretty cute!

It's so hard to believe that a whole year has gone by!  I can't believe it.  It feels it went even faster than Ace's first year.    She's so special, and is certainly developing into her own personality in this family and we love to watch her do so.    Happy Birthday,  Owlie!  Mommy, Dad, and Brother all love you so much!!

Another Anniversary

I think for the first time in six years the anniversary of my dad's death was not looming when I went to bed last night.   In fact, I didn't think about the date at all.   It's so interesting how people deal with death, even more interesting how the same person deals with different deaths.    You see, my grandfather and dad died within two months of one another.  It was a brutal blow for me - mostly though I was grieving over the loss of my father.   But I've said all of this before - what I haven't talked about as much is the looming anniversary dates.  My husband often asks me when I'm in an 'off mood' is this some date of something bad?    It's true I often go into a funk or bad mood on the anniversary dates of negative events.

Time heals all  most wounds and as time went by I started to skip over November 10th (the day my grandfather died) being a specific day to be sad and mourn - in fact I think it was year three, at most year four.   For my grandma's anniversary of her death last year, I was beyond preoccupied with life and the living to be in mourning.   However, it was not lost on me that the day I rushed my daughter to the ER, transported her to Children's and admitted her to the hospital was the two year anniversary of my grandma's death.    Grum certainly would have wanted no time lost in  mourning of her anyway - she is perfectly happy where she was.    While I can't say exactly what I'll be thinking come this March 16th this year, I'm guessing the impact of that day won't be as big as they were with my father's 3rd anniversary of his death.

Every year since my dad's death - I've stared at the calendar on the 6th knowing what the 7th meant.  Knowing that it was the anniversary of my dad departing this earth.    Last night when I looked at the calendar, for the first time in six years... the 7th was just another number.  I wasn't lost in grief or memories..     I woke up this morning to see my uncle's note about six years gone by... and realized what day it really was.    I know grief isn't textbook,  every person you grieve for isn't missed in the same ways - but for some reason this absence of remembering the night before, the absence of the looming dread of the 7th rolling around on the calendar - marks further healing in my loss.   

Life has continued on these last six years.    Many things have taken place, all of which I know my father would have loved to be a part of - and maybe he's looking down watching from a better place than we are, I don't know.   What I do know is that he is absent and that I miss him.  He's missed so much... but his legacy certainly lives on. 

Elephant in the Room

It's funny how life can change so quickly.   How one incident can result in a life-shift in not only behavior, but mindset, mannerisms and more.    Our journey into allergies began on Christmas day with a phone call to 911.  Our little girl was in mild distress and covered in hives after consuming a certain food.   We knew that even after that shot of benadryl by the paramedics that further doctors would be examining her and tests would be run.   I knew it was just the beginning...

On Tuesday afternoon my little girl and I headed to the allergist.   She was a picture perfect patient.  She was happy toddling around the room awaiting the visit from the doctor and she happily cuddled up against her mommy as the nurse did the test on her back.  She didn't even budge from my chest to see what was going on.  She didn't fuss one bit.   Then we waited and she happily tore apart my wallet while we waited for things to unfold.  

15 minutes later it was confirmed that Mae has allergies and that Mae would be prescribed an Jr. Epi Pen.   We went over procedures, check lists of when and if to use it,  what foods to avoid, what were ok.  Having had allergies pretty much my whole life all of this wasn't that overwhelming to listen to.   It is however the catalyst to paranoia:  What's in that?  Ace you can have that but Mae can't.   Mae can have this as a substitute.  Her cheeks are rosey, did she get into something?  and on and on it goes.  

It's a whole new and enduring world - allergies.    It causes you to really have to stop and analyze everything that a child consumes.   As an adult I have one food allergy to pineapple - I read a lot of labels - I find it exhausting because I never read a label once. I read it three times before consuming anything that remotely might contain pineapple - and I can recall many missteps I've had in consuming pineapple unsuspectingly and the consequences for that.   It's frustrating, but I'm in control.  I know what's the result of my intake of pineapple.   It's another whole world when it's my job to read the labels for my daughter, to insure that she is safe.   It is also my new job to carry the benadryl and the jr. epi pen. 

Epi... they make it sound so simple.  Not like the big scary word of epinephrine, a jolt of adrenaline.   The reminder from the pharmacist that it "only buys you about 15 minutes of time, so be sure to seek immediate emergent care" is reminder enough that it's not so simple.  The demonstration of use alone is jarring... nevermind that if I have to administer it - it won't be in the adult's thigh that it was just demonstrated on but my 16lb (nearly) one year old instead.     But as traumatic and scary as it all sounds - I'm honestly not afraid.  I just feel that this Jr. Epi Pen sits there is like a giant elephant is in the room.   This undertone of heavy weighted reality that I have a child with a moderate allergy and a this elephant that sits on a shelf awaiting a reaction.

I don't live in fear, but I do feel a heavy weight carrying around this pen (no not literally.)   However, I don't let it consume me.  I know that life is not in my control, but God's and whether this be a life long challenge for Mae or a shorter one mostly for her parents - it will be used for His glory and within His protection.  I pray that the allergy discovered is it, that there are no more to be discovered by traumatic means.  I pray that she outgrows what she has.   I hope one day to be rid of the elephant in the room, and my purse, my car... and soon to be in a couple of other places as well.  After all elephants are quite cumbersome.

Ace's First Day

Last night I went to bed and set my alarm... for the first time in a long time. Since I quit work the only time that I officially needed an alarm was in the event that we had a doctor or dentist appointment.   It's been nice for the last 4 years, I must say.   Today dawned a new era of the return of the alarm clock (2 days a week!)   I got up at 7 and got myself ready to go, then went into Ace's room and he was mostly awake.     He asked "When is it time to get up?  Is it time for preschool?!"  He was sleepy, but excited!
I got him partially dressed, grabbed him some cereal and apples for breakfast, and grabbed the scissors do to a bit of maintenance on his hair that has gotten quite shaggy.  He was less of fan of that.   We grabbed his shirt and finished getting him dressed.  Got his coat and backpack on and he posed for his first morning of school picture in front of the door.  We left Mae with Mo who was still here visiting us, said goodbye and the three of us headed on to school.

We arrived at school and he was so excited to get out of the car, did great going in, and met his teacher Miss Megan.    After meeting Miss Megan he shied into his father's shoulder.    We met a new friend who also was having his first day and we all walked upstairs together with Miss Megan.    Ace and his new friend got to pick their cubbies to hang their coats and their backpacks.   Ace shied away and said "I don't want to do it."  I helped him get it all put in and as we're doing this he asks "When are you coming back to get me?" I assured him we would be back in a few hours and that he'd have a good time.

We went into his classroom and he got to look around and he and his new friend went over and checked out some toys with his teacher.   Us parents hung back and after a few minutes went over to say goodbye.   Which he barely acknowledged - so we headed out.

Fast forward a couple of hours in which time we had breakfast, Mae had a short nap, and I made Ace a lunch - it was time to go collect him.    Mae came this time and was having a lot of fun playing as I looked around for Ace.  Most of the kids were in the main play area and Ace was busy walking around in the classroom busy as can be.   He came out and smiled really big, and gave me a hug.  He went to grab his stuff and I talked to the teacher who gave a glowing review for his first day.

We hopped in the car and I gave him his lunch which he was VERY excited about and he scarfed.  In fact as I was driving home he was done and wanting more... so we swung through McD's where he consumed 4 nuggets and fries.  I drove us around as he told me about his day "I played for 'thirty hours!', did a project, sang about shapes, played with Matthew, and didn't go do the race (?) outside because it was too cold, and my teacher turned out the lights when she talked to us."

As soon as we got home he showed me his project and showed me his book fair flyer (and so it begins!)  so we looked through that before nap time (which he ultimately he did not take,...)  and marked the end of his first first day of school which he says he's excited to go to again on Thursday! 

The Beginning

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new adventure in our family.   Ace starts preschool!  He's ready, he's excited, and I am preparing myself for the car shuttle shuffle for the next decade+ - but even more than that I am preparing myself for letting go, just a bit.   I joked with Loving Husband that starting tomorrow we'd never really know for sure anymore if he was telling lies.   Up until now he's had very little exposure away from us.    He only sporadically stays in Sunday School, we've had very little babysitting, and all playdates for the most part I am in attendance for.  So if he created a story or a fib, it was pretty easily known if it hadn't happened.    Now we start a whole new adventure of several hours away from mom and dad.   Into a whole new world of school.

I am so excited for him and I am so thankful that he's so excited to start.   I pray that enthusiasm remains when we go to say goodbye and leave him in his class.   That it remains as the days of the week continue and he realizes that this isn't just a one time adventure that this is a couple days a week, every week, all year long.  

I won't lie - even as a I write this I'm misty eyed.   It seems impossible that we're already embarking on the adventures of school for him.   Yes, him and I have done 'school' together for over six months now - but this is truly the beginning of it all.   Soon he'll move to a 5 day program, then he'll go onto kindergarten, elementary,  extra curriculars will be developed... more car shuttling will happen and more and more time out of my care I will be entrusting him to someone else.   I won't lie - that's a little scary.  I won't lie - it's a huge milestone that I've been waiting for him to experience - and I hope he loves it.     I won't lie - the last 3.5 years have flown by.    Where has this baby gone? 

So while tomorrow's adventure is for Ace and what he's experiencing - it will certainly have just as big of an impact made on the rest of us - especially this mama. Ace will make friends, learn new things, and experience life from a whole new perspective.   I just pray that it's a good experience for him and pray that to date we've done a good enough job preparing him for the outside world. 

I look forward to his adventure tales, his insights, his new knowledge and excitement he finds. And  again, I won't lie - I will look forward to when he comes home - because even on the worst days he's my first born, my baby big boy, and I love to see his precious face, see his excitement, hear his perspective on the world, and give big hugs!     So yes, I'm sappy - I'm trying to get a good portion of that out before tomorrow morning so my toddler isn't rolling his eyes at me in embarrassment. 

Here's to a great first day at preschool, Bear!   I'm so proud of who you are and can't wait to see where you go in life - this is just the beginning!