A break from the heavy stuff...

For more of the precious and fun stuff. :) I recently acquired a new camera. I've been salivating for YEARS over DSLR cameras. I've used them, I oggle over other people's shots, and I have had an unhealthy love for them... ok maybe not quite that dramatic... or maybe so. ;-) Needless to say - I've wanted one. It finally became an option recently - and I am now the proud owner of a Canon Rebel T2i and two lenses the 18-135mm and the 50mm f/1.8 II. I'm lovin' them both! I've been able to capture some great shots.



First shot out of the box using the 50mm lens
On auto and flash was used. The crispness was so exciting to me. Now to be fair to my point and shoot - it has a pretty good quality as well... but I have way more control with this camera and that's what I've been wanting for so long... so I got the little girl out of the car seat and got to shooting! :)


Loving the 50mm

I played with the settings and enjoyed seeing how I could get the bokeh just how I like it. I also love the picture on the top right - she's got the expression of THAT camera is way bigger in my face - what's going on?! hehe Ace came home with dad a little while later and I was able to see how well the camera did with action shots! Let me say AMAZING!


A few days later I decided to enjoy another photoshoot with Mae during Ace's nap. It was great. :) Mae loves to look at the camera which is great for capturing shots - and 3.2 frames per second certainly ensures I'll capture a good picture. :)


This is Mae last Monday at the beginning of her bout with RSV


This boy has no 'baby' left in him at all!
A good opportunity to play with the camera a bit more was the dedication of every one's favorite twins! Yep Blana's twins were dedicated last Sunday and it was great to be able to attend and capture some shots their event. :) This time during the dedication I broke out the 18-135mm lens so that I could get some zoom action.

I'm so excited for all the adventures to come that I'll be able to use this new camera to capture lots and lots of memories. :)

I was a fair distance away to capture this, so smiley Kaylee!

Day Four Begins...

Yes today dawns our fourth day in the hospital. There will be no discharge today so looks like we are amid the 'average' of a 4-5 day hospital stay for infants with RSV. When the attending mentioned that three days ago that seemed discouraging and overwhelming. Today it seems par for the course. Our little girl is sick and slowly getting better. With RSV and bronciolitis there are peaks and valleys. Kids will look and present feeling great one day and then another low valley they'll trudge through with excessive mucus and coughing fits. Yesterday and last night we experienced both.


Nursing my baby girl
Yesterday was a GREAT day. Mae slept in till after 11am after a couple of feedings in between of course. She had zero deep suctioning and far less olive tip suctioning (basically a bulb syringe with the power vacuum) She was having good output with her diapers (although she was on the IV for that.) Her breathing although crackly most of the day was still doing much better and while she still was working harder than she should she was working far less than she was the day before.

Mae was content and had a good nap around 2 and so I was able to venture down to the cafeteria (and out of the room period) for the first time in nearly 30 hours. I grabbed myself some lunch and even spent a little time browsing in the gift shop. For nearly 20 minutes I was 'on the outside!' sorta... It was good and a nice break.


Upon my return she started to stir and was a happy little girl. Awaking and smiling at me. Cozy in her little burrito. Our day was filled with far fewer doctor's visits because she was doing so well! That was encouraging that we only saw Dr. Mike 3 times. The day before we saw him much more often. We even had some playtime the two of us. I broke out some of our toys that I carry in the diaper bag and we played and batted at toys.



Hi Mommy!


She was hitting that owl quite a bit to make him jingle
We had a minor set back around 4pm when her oxygen levels dropped from around 100 down to 82. I believe though that the pesky culprit was her new and fancy boxing glove. Yes they finally after two and a half days of having her monitor on her foot, moved it to her hand. I think she was messing with it too much and not getting a good read on it, but to be safe her oxygen was bumped back up to 0.5 from the 0.2 it had been at all morning. Siigh. By bedtime it was lowered to 0.4.



Ready to box those nurses with their suction hose now!
Every four hours Mae continued to receive her respiratory therapy. She handled those treatments well - which involve the RT literally banging with a tool on her chest and back. She actually smiles while it is being done, I think she finds the rhythm soothing. Another tool they use, mostly when she is asleep is a vibrator that acts in the same manor - to loosen up the mucus plugged areas. Often after a treatment she gets a good cough in to move along some of the loosened junk - or perhaps an extra suction with the olive tip. At 4am it was different... and a little scary.

The RT came in and began his typical routine - same one he had done around 1am that Mae and I both slept through. At 4am though she was a tiny bit more alert and woke up, mostly I think because she realized that she was hungry (it was about 4+ hours from her last feeding) he continued to do the vibrations. At one point her oxygen desaturated to 67 - monitors are not happy at that level. :( They turned up her oxygen to 0.9 and ended up doing the deep suction a couple of times and removing some THICK mucus. Her O2 levels began to come back up and she was mad as hell. After calming her down, getting her some milk and having her fall asleep next to me - she was right with the world again. The nurse came in a little after 5 and put her back in her own bed.

Since morning has arrived her O2 has been turned down twice, first to 0.7 and just recently to 0.5. She has needed deep suction one more time as it was obvious she was working harder to breathe. However, she is still doing well. Loving Husband arrived around 10am with a card in hand made by him and my boy. It made me cry - I miss him so much. It officially is the longest I've been away from Ace and it hurts. He's doing pretty well and I am so thankful that LH is in a position to be able to stay at home with him even though he really does need to be working.


Made with love by my boys

Snuggling with Dad
The doctor came in just before LH arrived and he said something that made me so happy. She's sounding better, almost entirely clear on one side!! Praise the Lord! I am hopeful she will continue to trend up, up and away from this hospital - but I am content to stay as long as she needs to get well.


I love she still finds time to smile!

A 'Set Back' Kind of Day

Today begins Day Three of our hospital stay. Yesterday, it seems like moments after I posted the last blog things turned worse. She just kept having set back after set back. It was a long Thursday for us. But my hope is renewed, it's a new day and hopefully a very mild and happy Friday is ahead of us!

She woke for her day on Thursday around 9:30am which started a coughing fit - that Dr. Mike witnessed. It wasn't pretty, but hopefully it would just be a spasm that calmed down after a moment or two. Not so much unfortunately. The day spiraled into increasing oxygen twice, going from nothing at 2am - all the way back up to 0.5 which is where they had her when she desaturated in the Children's ER. Siigh.

Her breathing got more and more labored and she was working hard to breath most of the day. Around midday they did another abuterol treatment, which for bronciolitis patients only works for about 10% of them - whether it was as effective as they see it in other patients, I don't know - but I felt like it did break up a little bit of the congestion.

They pricked her heel to check the blood gas levels which were ok, not great, but not alarming. It gave them a good baseline to be aware of. She had another chest xray since her condition certainly had worsened since the day prior. Thankfully there was no additional sign of pockets of distress or a secondary pneumonia developing. She had an IV ordered since her diapers weren't as wet as they would have liked. She was also ordered some respiratory treatments, where they take this vibrator and place it on her chest and sides and rub it around to help break up the mucus plugs. She actually enjoys it... and if she's asleep... sleeps through it! Thank goodness since she had the treatment at 8pm, 12am, 4am, etc..

She continued to do ok with sleeping - mostly on me or next to me - although the below picture just cracks me up and I think is so sweet. I had her propped up next to me in almost a seated position to help with her breathing and the secretions - and she kept scootching over until she could find me and then she finally relaxed and slept.

In the evening I was put on a 'No Breastfeeding Order'. I convinced the doctor's to let me try again while they were in the room - and I put her on the heavier flow side (bad choice for a convincing performance.) They remained steadfast on the 'NBO' Hmmph. The nurse and I after some negotiation (legal skills come in handy all sorts of places!) were in agreement that she could continue to feed on the one side and that I would pump the heavier flowing side to avoid any negative effects of not feeding her from that side. And so in the middle of the night after it was revised to 'No Breastfeeding when respiration is over 55+' Ok DEAL! The reason they had put her on the NBO is that her breathing was so labored and quick they were worried about her aspirating or perhaps in a rare event needing to intubate her and not wanting to have liquid in her stomach that would then of course come up when they did that. However, her breathing although quickened and labored wasn't ALWAYS above 50+ and in fact if you denied her breastfeeding to me that was worse because that's when she got MAD and her heart rate and breathing would spike - it seemed counter productive and so I'm glad they revised it.

Loving Husband was finally able to come after Ace was asleep in bed (while the grandparents stayed at our place 'watching' him sleep.) It was nice to finally have him around and see him for a while. It had been a long day. Mae by the time he had arrived was looking SO much better. Her breathing had calmed and relaxed a lot more and she was starting to get some energy back.


Getting some love from her dad
She went to sleep finally around 12am and we all prayed for a good night. She hadn't had any deep suctioning since the respiratory therapist was in around 6pm which was great! She did require the standard nose sucking each time she woke though, but that wasn't too bad. She slept from 12-4am and needed some food. Getting her settled enough to go to back to her bed took an hour, so we returned to sleep at 5am and she was awake again at 7:30am at which time I brought her into our bed. She slept again until 9:15 when the respiratory therapist was back for another treatment. This particular treatment moved enough junk around that she required some suction and had a coughing fit... but she was back asleep without much fuss after that initial irritation of all of that.


She was literally watching tv, calming and winding down for sleep
She continues to sleep - and I'm all for it. I want her to get her energy and rest. Throughout this all so far she continues to fight the suction and the poking and prodding which is great, that means her spirit and her energy is still strong. I swear she will HATE the color yellow when she is older though. That is what all these doctors and nurses are wearing when they enter the room. She actually has a worried look when her nurse came in yesterday - because it usually meant suction - it was so heartbreaking.
Today I am hopeful that we will continue to trend upward and forward. She isn't going to leave today, but I want to believe she is healing. We continue to pray and leave it in the Lord's hands and appreciate all the prayers she has surrounding her. Thank you! I am doing ok and am getting decent sleep in the night. In fact (apparently) Dr. Mike came in after 7:30 this morning when Mae was sleeping next to me in the bed and we were both zonked. He still examined her and I never budged. The nurse told me about it around 9am. :) So apparently my sleeping like a rock has it's advantages in the hospital as well.
I leave you with this sweet moment that I had with Mae yesterday...

Even while working hard to breathe she still had time to smile

We'll have 'Serious Illness' for $1000, Alex...

That's what I was thinking last night as I was 'enjoying' the quiet and watching Jeopardy in my daughter's hospital room. Yes, you read that right. My baby girl is in the hospital. It all began over two weeks ago with Ace waking up on Sunday the 6th with an icky icky cough. I kept him and his sister apart and germaphobic/OCD hand washing and sanitizing began. The next day the cough was just as bad and more frequent, and accompanied with a fever. :( I kept him and his sister a FLOOR apart for three days. Fast forward to Wednesday and the boy was diagnosed with pneumonia, given a shot of antibiotics and a 10 day course of them as well. Poor kid! He was super sad, but woke on Thursday morning far more himself and on the mend. Whew!


On the mend!
Mae went to her two month appointment on that Thursday and was diagnosed a happy and healthy baby girl. Whew! Then Saturday night rolled around. Rats! She for sure had a cough. Sunday, we were resolved that she did in fact have that same cough that her brother did. Monday, I took her to the doctor to confirm it was 'just a cold'. We prayed that it wouldn't go into her lungs and that she'd be able to have a far milder version. Unfortunately on early Wednesday morning, I woke to feed Mae (who had been sleeping on me while I slept sitting up for the last two nights) and she was breathing rapidly. She had 58 breaths in 60 seconds. Not good and she was having trouble catching her breath after a cough. We woke up her brother and we all loaded in the car and headed to the local ER.

We arrived and took us right back. They assessed the rapid breathing and noted that her oxygen levels were in the low 80s. They handed me a mask to hold over her face while they worked to get xrays (negative for pneumonia), swab her for influenza (negative) and RSV (positive), and try to get a line in her (just in case.) The poor dear. The doctor the determined that due to the low levels in her oxygen saturation and the RSV - that we needed more specialized care and ordered an ambulance to haul myself and Mae over to Children's Hospital. A first for Mae and mommy, we climbed into the ambulance and headed to Children's ER.


She fell asleep on the ride over

She was smiling and playing with me
Upon arriving they took her off the oxygen since she was back at 100% and were hoping she'd stay there. They did a little suctioning for more tests and diagnosed that she had bronchilolits. She continued to nurse just fine, which is a blessing and calmed down and started to snooze and her O2 levels dropped again. She was put back on the O2 and it was confirmed that she would be admitted.

By 12:30 we were in our private room on quarantine. RSV is a very aggressive virus and so they do not want us sharing a room (and we didn't want to either, so a blessing amid the storm that it wasn't even a question that we'd have our own room.) Mae continued to snooze and get some rest. The nurses started to suction her to help get the mucus out of her nasal passage and her mouth. This has helped her tremendously. Loving Husband went home to get me some things and then after his return, went to Pop Pop and Gran's to get our boy, they had met us at Children's to grab Ace and take him to their place for a far better and entertaining afternoon.


Sleeping on her dad

A beautiful sunset to watch from our room
Mae's night was less than pleasant. She required deep suction several times within an hour. They attempted to take her off the O2 around 2am, but had to be put back on within the hour because she wasn't holding the saturation levels. We finally got a good stretch of sleep at 4am - 3.5 hours. After that she woke and had a good meal and then back to sleep (and she's still snoozing.) This has allowed me to get a shower, brush my teeth, get breakfast and update everyone on how she is doing.
Sleeping in her bed
Overall, she is doing ok, she has coughing fits that are heartbreaking and she hates the suctioning, but the good times still outweigh the bad. The suctioning is just to help her clear it out of her system. The nurse this morning said she looked and sounded great, although she has had another icky fit leaving her breathing heavy. We just need to get her off the oxygen and to not have quite so much mucus before we can go home. She isn't coughing terribly much and is currently resting comfortably. It's unknown how long we'll be here, but we rest comfortably knowing the Lord is in charge of our little girl and that she is in good hands here at Children's.

She's still pretty happy amid all this

Two Months Old

My little girl is 2 months old. The time is just speeeding by!

Newness in month two: her first holiday (Valentine's Day), meeting Grandma Carol and her Aunt & Uncle, 'officially' rolling over, size 1 diapers, her first time in snow, and sleeping 'through the night' once.

Mae has had another great month! She is such an agreeable and content baby. So happy! She truly looks at you when you're talking and tries to listen and understand. She certainly knows the word milk and gets very excited when talked about. She's uber smiley first thing in the morning. She loves to stare and look at her big brother. She is content and happy to play on her play mat for long stretches of time without needing constantly having mommy or someone near her (very helpful in recent days!)

Sleep wise she is doing great. She naps a few times a day - a lot of the time it's on me, but she can transfer most of those times, allowing Ace to have some one-on-one time with mommy. She varies at night on when she really wants to go to sleep for the night. Sometimes it is as early as 8pm and others as late as 10pm. She typically will sleep on my chest until I'm ready to head to bed, then I'll swaddle her up and lay her to sleep. 90% of the time she transfers without needing to eat again. She averages around 4 hours between wakings and does great to simply go back to sleep after some food.

Playing has increased in these last few weeks and she loves her playmat. There are several toys dangling from it on either side and she absolutely loves to just lay on her back and bat at the toys. It's really adorable to watch and it's great since this past week her brother has been sick, so when they are both awake it is a good way to keep her entertained and away from her brother. She got a new dolly in this past month and cuddles it all the time she's in her carseat and often throughout the day - and occasionally at night as well. She is well aware it's there because once she was playing with it and it fell from her grasp and she instantly was sad and made it known she wanted it back! It was adorable. I don't know that I'd say she's "attached" to it - but it certainly is a favorite.

Kokomo has returned to our household.... uuuugh. Yes, after attempting several other soothing methods and music for the rare times she's fussy in the car or elsewhere - as a 'final' attempt I gave Kokomo a shot. If you recall it was an instant soother for Ace for a looong time. We must have listened to that song over 1000 times. So you can guess my hesitancy in attempting it as a soother for Mae. But once again it is full-proof. Seriously within seconds of putting it on she was calm. I've got it downloaded to my phone and if she's cranky in the grocery store, I can simply put it on and toss it in her carseat with her and she's happy as a lark to listen to her song. Ace the moment his sister starts to fuss, for whatever reason, where ever we are he says "Put kokomo on for sister so she'll calm down, mom." It's pretty adorable and I'm happy there is something that works. What is hidden in that music?!

Smiling has really come into play full force around here. She is so happy and loves to smile. I absolutely love it and she does well to do it for the camera to ;-) I love it. :) She is starting to grasp things more and more - although I still don't think she's entirely aware that she is doing it. She's got a pretty strong grip though because if she doesn't want to let something go, it's a struggle to get her to release it!

Mae had her doctor's appointment today and got a clean bill of health and told that she looks great! Her stats are: 9lbs 10.9oz (21%), 21.5" long (18%) and her head is 37cm (10%) - to compare her brother was in the 94th percentile for height at 2 months and was 3" taller than her. She's itty bitty, but is growing super well on her growth curve. The doctor is very pleased.

It's been another great month and we're looking forward to her third!

7 Hours!!

Yep! My baby girl slept for 7 hours straight at the age of 8 weeks old! After a nonsensical dramatic fight into unconsciousness (I don't know where she gets her sense a drama from at all! hehe) Mae slept from 10pm until 5am! Yahoo! She even transferred off of me (as she was asleep on me for roughly an hour of that) into her baby burrito swaddling blanket and into bed. Yippee! Yes, unlike her brother (although I'm not sure I ever tried that trick with Ace...) Mae likes to be swaddled... but only AFTER she's asleep. So I don't know if it's fair to say 'she likes it' or more accurate to say she's unaware of it. However! It seems to do the trick!

Now last night certainly was not an average night (hence the momentous blog to capture such an important milestone on the road toward healthy sleep...) Typically, Mae wakes every 3-4 hours for a snack. Once or twice she's gone 5 hours and often it is closer to 4 rather than 3... but the point being - she typically wakes at least 2 times in the middle of the night. So YAY!!! I am very hopeful that our little miss will be a better sleeper than her brother was...is. So since 6 hours is considered 'sleeping through the night' for a breastfed baby then:


HURRAY, Mae! You've slept through your first night!

Song Titles

Since Ace began sleeping in his own bed, we have been singing songs to him as part of his bedtime routine... sometimes traditional children's songs. Other times not. With each of them though Ace comes up with his own title and we the parents are forced to decipher the code and wrack our brains to figure out which song he's speaking of. As he's gotten older they're a tad easier to figure out. :) Ace's playlist in no particular order is as follows:


The Children Song AKA Jesus Loves the Little Children
The Deer Song AKA As The Deer
The Rainbow Song AKA Somewhere Over the Rainbow (he has since evolved on most nights to requesting this by it's proper title... it makes me a little sad.)
The Dawnser Song AKA The National Anthem (guess who sung that one first? And I love that it's "Dawnser" for the 'dawn's early light')
The Infantry Song AKA The Lord's Army
The Wee Little Man Song AKA Zaccheus Was a Wee Little Man

The B-I-E Song AKA The B-I-B-L-E

Twinkle Twinkle AKA Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

I'm sure there are others and if I think of them I'll add them to the list to preserve this fleeting time in our little guy's life. As there will come a time he doesn't want me to sing at all.